Column has been a great experience

All Things Considered has been a great experience for me, and with this last column, I have several people to thank for its success. First, I give thanks to God for being the inspiration as a found time to write each of the columns.  I am a servant of our Lord.

I also need to express gratitude to Elias Tobias, who offered me the opportunity to have the column for at least a year.  When I was first approached, I said no. I really didn’t think I had enough time with my role as a father, husband and a youth minister for more than 300 children, from less than a year old to mature teenagers.

Then I thought, how can make what I do even more effective?  I lead by example, and if I could provide an example of the events in my life through this column as an example, then God’s work would go beyond my small universe in Tacoma, Washington. I believe I have succeeded in this goal.

Since I needed to make time for this column in addition to my other duties, I need to thank my wife,    Diana, and my two teenage children,  Mason and Melisa, who have had  to share their father with  at least 300 other people.  I also must thank the pastors and other staff members of this church who make me realize daily that a church is not merely a building.  We work as a cohesive unit to serve our Lord.

Having accomplished my goals with the column, I have decided I need to go back to business at hand and be with my ministry full time. I have made many friends and acquaintances along the way, and these relationships will continue for mutual benefit.  My words will not be gone, as each column will be available to read on this web site.  There are no regrets.

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.

The Real Meaning of Christmas

“This is the day. This is the day the Lord has made.” These are more than lines of a simple song. This is the truth, especially on a day such as Christmas. This is more than a regular birthday. This is the day we celebrate as the day Jesus Christ was born in the flesh to start his mission here on earth.

The Bible has the accounts of the miracles that preceded the royal birth.  By the time Christmas morning is over, the other traditions of Christmas would have already happened: the decorated tree, the seasonal music, the special holiday food prepared, gathering of friends and family, and most of all presents.

Our Lord gave the birth of His son as a present to countless generations for thousands of years.  This is the real meaning of Christmas. Like a present we get from under the tree, we want to show people what we have gained.  We celebrate the gift of Jesus’ birth with praise in glory in song, rituals and ceremonies, and, of course, prayer.

This gift was given in a way that is different than most. Acceptance is voluntary, but once accepted, you will never want to be like the person before accepting the love and grace the God of all creation has to offer.

As this year comes to a close, each of us needs to answer an important question: How much does Jesus mean to us?  Many Christmas presents we receive on that one day are broken, ignored or abandoned weeks after they are given.  How long will the gift of Jesus Christ last in your life?  After the Christmas tree is all packed and the Christmas pageant at the Church is recorded history on the video recorder, will Jesus still be in your life?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.

A Royal Birth - The Musical

I love music, especially around Christmas time.  I am blessed to work with so much and a variety of talented individuals in my different youth groups I work with everyday.  As a father, and a youth minister, I can safely say that interacting with children is always challenging for adults, but as a youth minister, I need to inspire the children. At the end of last year’s Christmas pageant, I challenged them to create their own pageant s a special assignment.  I wanted them to create a presentation about the birth of Jesus that was relevant to them in their lives.

The result of the year-long project was eventually titled, “A Royal Birth - The Musical,” a full—length original musical production that is written, composed, acted, produced and directed entirely by the youth of our church.  It has mostly original music along with traditional public domain songs in different arrangements, all performed by our talented youth band.  The whole project will be performed for a limited time to church members first, and then for a week to the public this month at our large auditorium.  Some of the public dates have been sold out already, and local previews have been favorable in the media.

This semi-professional level production is really an effort by the youth, and my role has been only as a technical adviser since I have experience in writing and arranging songs along with all phases of theatrical production in the past.  I exceeded my expectations and rose to the challenge.  They created a production which was worth getting copywritten and published for future productions elsewhere.   That’s how many major plays got started.
Children are also amazing to me.  They keep me young. After setting expectations, giving them the resources needed to make things happen, the stage is, in this case, literally set.  With a lot of that innocent   ”I can do anything I want to” attitude used positively added to the mix, then I believe minor miracles can happen. I am proud of my kids, and I’m sure our Lord is too.  It is His name that glorifies their work and efforts

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.

Holiday giving should be year-round

Months before the day of Halloween, there is the changing of the colors which signal a season of giving.  Churches and another organizations partner with commercial businesses to initiate traditional toy and food drives.  I seem to gain more weight when the youth get involved with the cookie ministry we have every year.  Turkey and related foods are put together in baskets or bags for those who deserve a traditional Thanksgiving meal although the families can’t afford them.  Donations to soup kitchens need to be increased as more people seem to be drawn to such scheduled events, especially as the economy continues to recover.

Our church is no exception. We have several Holiday giving events.  We work with social agencies to get names of deserving families in need, and many of them are in the area served by our church.  Some are church members.  We have a special Shoe Box Ministry where a family adopts a child, but the family doesn’t really know the name of the person on purpose.

Coordinators of the program know where the boxes are going, however the likes and requests of that person getting the box are known.  If items can fit into a shoebox, and under $50 is spent, then the person has a great gift package.  The shoe boxes are wrapped separately from the lids, so the content can be inspected before delivery.  Our family usually has four shoe boxes, one completed by each of the members of our family.

One of my favorite things to do is to visit the nursing homes in the area, but I am disguised as Santa Claus, and I have plenty of elves around me to help deliver donated presents for either a man or a woman.   I still believe in the spirit of Santa Claus, and they do too.

All these events and traditions seem to fade way after December is gone and the calendars for the New Year are posted on the wall.  The need does not disappear, just because Christmas Day has happened.  Many organizations depend on the “regular” season of giving to build-up their funds for the next year because of these falling-off trend.

However, the need for funds and the numbers of volunteers to provide services continues throughout the year.  Our church has several year-round ministries because we recognize this need.  Many of these ministries are dedicated to and provided by the youth of our church.   By setting an example to others, they learn by experience, as Jesus Christ taught us, that giving to the least is giving to the most.

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.

The Value of Work

When I was growing up, I saw what the benefit of work was on a daily basis. My parents provided a safe, loving home where there were expectations of each us siblings. I am certain they wanted a better life for me and the rest of my brothers and sisters, but it certainly was not delivered to me on a silver platter.

I had what they called chores, and my reward was a small allowance (compared to the amount of money my children get for working around the house.)  It was not slave labor, even though I thought it may have been at times.

Summer meant mowing the lawn, and fall meant raking of the leaves. I had the trash to take out upon request. I had to make my bed, put my clothes away and clean up my room.  The houses we lived in needed painting every so often, and I got paid for the scraping and painting in areas I could reach. As I got older, I was responsible for getting meals ready for my brothers and sisters when my parents were busy.   I hated to clean out the garage, but it usually ended up a family project.

The money earned was saved in jars and later in a bank account, and I looked at the statements as they arrived in the mail.  I learned the value of the dollar, and how many bags of leaves had to be filled before I got a dollar.  That’s a lot of leaves. I recognize what my parents and others around me were teaching me… the value of work.   It was more than earning money to have to spend on things I wanted.  It was a sense of a job completed to desired level.

I was taught the value of work, and I see that many families today are lacking the value of work in the home.  Demands of children are met with fits of rage at times in stores.  Often they are placated with a store item desired.  The children begin to expect this, and schools offer incentives for better grades. As adults these expectations are recycled to a new generation who believe society owes them an existence without work. Our God is a great God, but he expects us to help ourselves to reach His glory.

Jesus once said that a person could be fed a fish and be nourished for a day. To teach that person to fish was better because then that person could provide fish not only for himself, but for others too, all year round.    Children need to learn the value of work in both the way they are raised and by the examples of the parents and others around them.  They learn by imitation. I strive to be a role model in the various hats I wear as a youth minister for my church.  I work hard to be the father my children deserve.   There is a sense of satisfaction of a job well done.

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.

No protests at military funerals

In keeping with last week’s column theme, the subject will still be military personnel, but from a different point of view.  The funeral is private time for those affected by the loss to grieve in their own way. However, a Supreme Court ruling will decide if a protesters have right to make their message known during military funerals. The ironic twist to all this is that the group doing the protesting is lead by Pastor Fred Phelps and his Westboro Baptist Church (Topeka, Kansas) followers.  They seek to spread their view that the deaths are God’s punishment for a nation’s tolerance of a gay culture.

With chants and posters that say, “Thank God for Dead Soldiers,” Phelps and his group are going around the country  going to military funerals uninvited to state their message, and often the Police are involved to bring calm to the scene.  As a trained grief counselor, this is not a good situation for the family and friends of the lost soldier.  Tensions and emotions are already at their peak.

I’m sure Phelps and his group have a right to protest, although, as a minister I question if he knows for a fact of God’s true intent. His place of protest is simply the wrong place at the wrong time. The situation also borders the line where a church’s views and politics meet, something of a gray area for the clergy.

When Phelps’ group arrived at a military funeral in Maryland, the father of the deceased, Albert Snyder, sued Westboro, claiming its members had distressed him intentionally and invaded his privacy.  A federal court ruled a $5 million settlement in Synder’s  favor, however the lower court’s decision was reversed by an appeals court that ruled that Westboro was protected by the First Amendment.

Some legal analysts believe the High Court will find the case in favor of Westboro as a guard against a chilling effect first of pickets, then on the media.  The First Amendment has been tested in many cases through the years, each taking a specific circumstance and applying it to general situations. The Westboro’s lawyer is Margie J. Phelps, a daughter of founder Fred Phelps.    The case boils down to if a person can sue for damages arising from hurtful messages at a funeral. But life is never that simple.

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.

Fallen Soldiers

In keeping with last week’s column theme, the subject will still be military personnel, but from a different point of view.  One topic not covered is how the church organization and its members respond to a death of a soldier killed in action. There is the funeral at this church, where he or she was a member, and those are the facts announced in the news media.

There is more. What is not detailed, other than the usually military-themed, activities of the church for everyone, is staff of grief counselors who go into action.  This is a dedicated group of trained and often licensed volunteers who have completed a series of workshops that deal with death and grief and people’s reactions to losing a loved one.  I have gone through all five of these state-organized trainings myself.

Ever since people have been fighting wars, the soldier, the main tool of an army, may be expended. People hope and pray that their son, daughter, father, mother or other close relative does not die as a result of combat- related injuries. While on duty the church should play an important role in supporting the troops, and ours does.  When one of our own is killed, the whole church suffers a loss, since people’s lives are so connected.

We have a special place of honor in the church for those who have been killed in battle for wars and operations that America has been involved with since World War I, about the time when our church was founded. Our grief counselors are experts in dealing with the subject, and I have specialized in how such a loss affects the youth of our church, the primary focus of my ministry.  I can say that there is a process, and it takes time, up to several years depending on the individual and the closeness of the relationship to the decreased.

I try not to think of how my children would grow up without me around.  I have made usual provisions, wills and such, but such a loss would affect them in many ways, however I have had people in my life leave this earth.  I can personally relate to military-related losses. As a counselor, I deal with all aspects of the departed’s life to get those living to realize how much good the person brought to the world in life.  In the end, this helps the persons grieving have a positive end to the cycle.  As a minister, I can explain that there is life after our death on earth, and our Heavenly Father has a place for each of us.

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.

The Home Front

For families who have a parent in the military, either a father or mother (or both in some situations) who is deployed to an area of current war activity, such as Iraq or Afghanistan, there are two fronts– the one that is seen by the pubic  with TV news reports of new developments and the home front.

The home front seems like private situation.  In a way it is, since the reactions to the situations vary from person to person.  However, with so many troops abroad, thousands of children have to live with the fact they may never see their father, mother or other relative alive again.

I can tell you from working with the youngest of children to soon-to-be- adult teenagers, the pressure to be a kid is much more than I had when I was young.  To compound all those factors with lack of a special person in their life not at home for months at a time is often too much for young individual to understand and comprehend.  We work as a church to help our children in this situation and the families with deployed soldiers in different ways.

First, as a church organization, we honor those people who are away in the U.S. military as special people. We have a particular board at the entrance of the church to update information about those who are deployed.  We have a special ministry that sends food and care packages to soldiers from this church and other soldiers who are not a part of our church, so they all know they have a church praying for them.  For the families who have a loved one deployed, we have a different group that meets on a regular basis to talk about issues they have in common.  Sometimes these issues are emotional, and recently have been dealing with financial difficulties.

Besides spiritual and emotional guidance, the families of those deployed have a representative within the church dedicated to make sure each family is given all legal and financial support due from government sources.  This includes the constant exchange of information via the Internet, phone calls and live streaming videos to make the distance apart closer than in the past.  This is always important around holidays, when emotions seem to increase for missing family members.

As a youth minister, my primary concern is the children of the families who have a relative who has been deployed.  As noted earlier, the reaction varies with the age and personality of the individual.  Some try to deny or hide their feelings, and I work with these people to share, even if it is just to me, how they really feel because they love and miss their mother or father more than they show.  As a group, we have projects that work  in conjunction with other church activities and we try to get the youth involved  in making special items for the soldiers, whether they are a member of this church or not.

Music has always been a part of my life, and we use music to show how much we care with special church concerts dedicated to those who are deployed.  These is a really fun and meaningful events for everyone.

For every soldier on the war front, there is another front, the home front, which is just as important to those deployed.  It gives a reason for why they are in harm’s way in first place … to protect us and to keep us free.

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.

Back to God’s Country

Most people think of the natural attributes when they vision Washington State in their minds, and I must admit the mountains and valleys did draw me to this area of the country many years ago.  Then I started working in the city, and I have taken weekend vacations now and then outside of the city. The pull of family responsibilities and the growth of this church, and the young ministry in particular, seemed to draw me away from the scenic areas.  The same happened to the children of the church with their own set of concerns and priorities.  This was a problem.

I began a exercise program as part of my youth ministry with consultation with one of our doctors in the church to generally improve the health of those in my charge.  It helped me to, since I had to set the example.  There was another incentive.   Those that showed the most improvement were in a select group of children who had a higher challenge… a week-long camping and hiking trip provided by a travel agency and a wilderness outfitter both owned by members of the congregation.

We went in the North Cascades to the East Pasayten Wilderness.  We camped in the Horseshoe Basin area and hiked 5 to 10 miles a day.  This is a land of immense natural beauty on the extreme eastern end of the North Cascades.   Horseshoe Basin has long been a favorite destination for backpackers and day trips.

With sprawling alpine tundra, amazing fall colors in the changing trees, several wide-open, easy-to-scramble summits, and spectacular wildlife observations, we had to stay a whole week. For us city slickers, Horseshoe Basin’s fairly easy approach and gentle terrain made it easier for us than other places in the state. In each hike, there was around a 900-foot gain in elevation through larches, meadows, open slopes, lakes, streams, waterfalls to the Sunny Basin area.

I also learned more about the children, many of whom had never camped in the woods. It was an experience we will never forget.  The exercise program was much needed before such an outing.

The city called and I returned to a routine for my life and family, but I was a different person after the trip. The children went back to school and their friends, but I’m sure part of their life is different.  Being in the middle of God’s beauty has a way changing most everyone. By the way, the exercise program continues for the youth in the church, and now some of the adults have joined the classes.

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.

Four steps to Problem Solving

Public schools for years have used techniques and methods which have standardized education with a fact-based knowledge foundation that lacks problem solving skills. There are exceptions of course, such as magnet schools which specialized in subject area that demand problem solving skills. However, in general the national educational results show a generation who is dependent on the small percentage of people who understand how to use problem solving skills to their advantage.  The people in the smaller group are the risk takers, the leaders and the inventors the rest of new generation follows. There are four steps to problem solving, that with effort, anyone can use to their benefit.

First, a person has to recognize or realize there is a problem to solve.  In many recovery programs, this is the first step.  When a problem is not recognized, situations for that person at a minimum stay the same, and at maximum, get much worse.  When there is change, it must not be made for its own sake, since that is fruitless. There needs to be a reason for a change, and that starts when a problem exists.

With the knowledge is that alterations needs to be made, the question next is, how does someone get started? Barriers can be overcome with more information.  Details are found, and options are formed.  Information can be found easily, electronically, and with a network of other people looking for answers.  Resources are shared, but sometimes difficult questions have the most obvious answers.  Choices are ready to be made, while others stuck at the first step are given their choices, some of which may not apply to the problem-solving person.

The third step in the problem solving process is acting on one of the choices. It is important to note here that inaction, once the choices are presented, counts as an action.  Procrastination is an art for some people.  It is now entrepreneurs emerge, politicians begin their careers, and leaders in life get recognized.  Children who possess these qualities have a brighter future ahead of them.  They ask “what if…” or ”how much would it take to…”  This is a creative, intuitive process, but it works.

The last step, the follow-up, may take years for the ultimate results of choices made to come to life. Athletes, singers, artists and performers of all types can trace their careers to a time when a choice was made to make a turn in a different direction.  The follow up may mean hours of repetition of routine tasks by those involved to rise above the competition.  Mentors, teachers and coaches challenge the students to be better problem-solvers.

The Lord created man in His own image, and looking at the natural world, it is clear He was creative beyond in a way man could ever imagine.  We were created with intelligence to make choices, to solve problems, and to help others.  Our problems we face everyday can be solved by anyone if the four steps of the problem-solving process are used, and  then our lives, and the lives of those around us, can be better.

Peace be you with always,

Rev. Paul Abernathy

“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord.” -2 Peter 1:2

Contact Paul Abernathy at paulabernathy@gmail.com.

Want to know more about the members of Lambda Sigma Chi? Click here to meet the members of the unofficial fraternity.